Gracie Allen was an extremely funny woman. There’s a few greatest hits from her duo standup with her husband George Burns - first in Vaudeville, then on the radio, and later on television. At first Allen was the “straight man" in the act, but her lines were still getting more laughs than Burns’ jokes. So they switched roles, and the rest was history.
Gracie Allen:
First we went to Grant's Tomb and then to The Lincoln Tunnel, and I said it was nothing but favoritism.George Burns:
Favoritism?Gracie Allen:
Well, yes. I said, "If they could bury Grant in a tomb, they certainly could have found a better spot for Lincoln."George Burns:
Well, look at where they put poor Washington, under a bridge.Gracie Allen:
Well, that's gratitude for you.
But there are two pieces of Gracie Allen’s solo comedy that have been favorites of mine for a long time. The first is her run for president. Yes, you read that correctly. It began as a passing joke on their radio show.
In 1940, as a member of The Surprise Party, Gracie Allen mounted her unique campaign. That year Franklin D. Roosevelt was hesitant to run for a third term, and for a while there was no clear frontrunner. So Gracie Allen went nuts… that is, she kicked things off with handfuls of nuts. Literally having petitioners offer a scoop of nuts in exchange for their signatures.
The thing is, people genuinely liked Gracie Allen. Where other candidates were stuck in the mud of the country’s isolationist views and the baggage of the coming war, she was something people could generally agree that they enjoyed. Harvard University actually endorsed her, and during her whistle stop campaign tour she had no trouble engaging audiences. Neither did husband and key supporter George Burns, who quipped in his stump speech, “I regret that I have but one wife to give for my country.”
“I don't know much about the Lend-Lease Bill, but if we owe it, we should pay it.” - Gracie Allen on the campaign trail
Her platforms included correspondence courses for the unemployed “so they can fail to find jobs in three or four industries” (still relevant - ouch!) and a promise to settle the Florida-California border dispute. She also claimed she would not choose a vice president because “there shouldn’t be any vice in the White House.”
At its peak the Surprise Party held a convention that drew 8,000 participants. Which was Allen’s moment to get serious - acknowledging that the country had real issues, and needed a real leader. Still, in the Democratic primary, there were thousands of votes for Gracie.
“I’m the candidate who forgot to take off her hat before she threw it in the ring.” - Gracie Allen
As World War II progressed Gracie Allen made an appearance in a sort of jukebox musical (or the 1940s equivalent thereof) titled Two Girls and a Sailor. In a show that would make Victor Borge proud, she performed the Concerto for Index Finger at the piano - a piece was first premiered by Allen at the Hollywood Bowl. By “performed,” I mean that she sat at the instrument. Offstage, someone played the actual notes.
That being said, if any orchestra wants to perform the piece, I’m available.
Why this tribute? Because the Alliance for Women in Media is celebrating its 50th Gracie Awards (named for the performer herself), announcing the winners today. And I’m honored to have my work among them. Other previous winners of Gracie awards include Carol Burnett, Maria Shriver, Michelle Obama, The Duchess of Sussex, Oprah Winfrey, Nicole Kidman, Christina Applegate, Taylor Swift, and many, many more.
More importantly, the project being honored was a collaboration with my friend Laura Atkinson, where we got to highlight the work of mothers in the field of classical music. It’s a little-discussed experience from an industry that was not built for mothers, and sharing these stories as we blended them with the music made us both gasp, laugh, and cry many times over.
You can revisit the project here. They’re all worth the few minutes, but I especially recommend Kathleen Karr’s tale of her flute audition for the Louisville Orchestra. It’s an incredible story set next to her performance of one of my favorite concerti.
Beneath all the goofiness in Gracie Allen’s work, there’s an undercurrent of the love she shared with George Burns. One quote in particular from her letters to him has stuck with me as I’ve navigated a few years full of tumultuous changes.
“Never place a period where God has placed a comma.” -Gracie Allen
In bad times it’s a comfort. But in good moments like these, it’s a great reminder - the best is yet to come.
-Colleen